Call Me, Call Me
by Touch of Gray
Summary: Tidus and Gippal both have to deal with change, and neither of them are doing such a good job. Meanwhile, Rikku is frustrated, Yuna is heartbroken, and Paine is losing her patience with the lot of them. Eventual R/G, T/Y.
1. i close my eyes and i keep seeing things

* * *

**call me, call me**  
(i close my eyes and i keep seeing things)

* * *

"We would have been there hours ago if you would have stopped for directions, but of course we're still stuck out here in the middle of nowhere because you said you had it covered."

Rikku was getting awfully tired of the Bikanel Desert.

"And if you hadn't decided that only losers use compasses, we would have gotten there already," she hissed through clenched teeth. "It isn't my fault that you're a moron."

Gippal raised an eyebrow, "And it isn't my fault that you said, 'oh, no, let's _not_ stop at that checkpoint and figure out _where the hell we are_. Let's just keep going and see where the endless sands of the desert take us.' _Therefore, _this mess is all your fault."

"You're the one who decided to leave the compass and all of the water in the hover."

"You're the one who swore we were only a little while from New Home and that there was no need to go back for them!"

"I was wrong, okay! All the landmarks are gone because of your stupid digging campaign!"

"My _stupid _digging campaign? What about _your - _"

"Oh, _shut up!_" Both parties turned to Paine. "I am going to kill both of you in the most painful ways your tiny little brains can _possibly _conceive if you don't _stop talking now._ Understand?"

Rikku huffed, crossing her arms and turning away from the others. "I was just saying - "

"_Rikku._"

"Fine, fine!" They walked in silence for several minutes before - "Hey, I have an idea! How about we wait here for someone to come by on their patrol and find us? They come every half-hour, right? They're bound to run into us."

"Oh, that's a _great _idea! Why didn't we think of this sooner?" Gippal put a hand up to his mouth, thinking, "Oh, that's right. Because we're not on one of the patrol routes, we have no water, food, or shelter, _and _because it's dead noon in the middle of the desert. You hang out here and roast if that's what you want, but _I _am going to find my way back to New Home, even if it kills me."

"It was _just _an idea. Geez, no need to jump down my throat."

Paine took a deep breath, "What did I just say?"

"Could you stop being so _pissy,_ Paine? This is bad enough without you constantly attacking me."

"Constantly attacking _you?_" Rikku cut in furiously, "She's been yelling at me for the past two hours, and you haven't gotten off my back since you got up this morning! You're the pissy one!"

"_Me?_"

"I've had it," Paine hissed, and started to storm off.

"Where are you going?" Rikku called after her, "You'll get lost out there! You shouldn't be alone!"

"Yeah," Gippal yelled, "There are fiends out there! Hey! Hey! Paine!" But she'd gone.

"Good one, Gippal. Way to ruin everything." Rikku all-but collapsed into the sand while he glared at her. "Don't know what your problem is anyway. This visit was going great until you decided you hated the whole world. _Now _look at this mess." She sighed and shifted uncomfortably. "We're stuck somewhere in the desert with no food or water, Paine's run off because she hates both of us, we have no way of contacting anyone, and the only weapon left between the two of us is that little six-shooter I rummaged out of the hover. Now what?"

"I don't know, but you being obnoxious about everything isn't helping matters."

Rikku made an odd, annoyed noise in the back of her throat, and then abruptly stood up and began hitting him - hard - with each syllable, "Well - you - are - not - help - ing - eith - er - you - stu - pid - _id - i - ot!_"

"What the - ? What are you - ? Get off me, you maniac!" Finally, he snatched both of her wrists and held them up above her head, ignoring her indignant squawking, "What the hell is _wrong _with you?"

"_You!_" She shrieked angrily, "You're being such a - such a - a _meanie!_ There's no reason for you to be so... _mean!_ I really thought we were almost there, okay! It's not my fault! I made a stupid mistake, okay! And if you would stop _yelling at me_ for just ten seconds, maybe we could get out of here!"

"A meanie?"He asked, suddenly laughing. "_Meanie?_ What are you, six?"

She glared at him for roughly three seconds, and then - with a vindictive smirk - kicked him as hard as she could right in the kneecap. He yelled and dropped her wrists, clutching his knee and glaring back up at her. "What the hell was that for?"

"Be glad I didn't aim higher," she huffed. "Don't make fun of someone who can crush your future kids with one good kick. Especially when you've left your whole body open like that."

"Have I ever told you that I really, really don't like you?"

And all of a sudden, the atmosphere changed. He wasn't looking at her, but ostensibly checking his knee for a break. He refused to look up, even when she didn't respond and he was absolutely positive that his knee would be just fine.

Rikku was staring at him, hurt.

"Well," she started, a little awkwardly, "I guess that's all the more reason to get back to New Home so you can get away from me, yeah?" With that, she turned on her heel and began walking.

"You don't even know if that's the right way."

"I don't care."

Gippal watched her for a moment, and ran a hand through his hair, cursing. "Good one, Gippal. _Really_."

* * *

She didn't say another word to him the entire way back, a long and arduous journey of exactly fifteen minutes (it turned out that Rikku wasn't that far off after all, and it was Paine's misplaced assumption that they should travel north that ended up getting them all lost, though to be fair, no one challenged her). And once they reached New Home, she immediately made for her tent and didn't even glance at him.

Gippal turned to the first person he could catch by the shoulder and asked, "Have you seen Paine? She left us behind back there and I don't know where she is."

The guy (some vaguely familiar Al-Bhed he may or may not have hired) shook his head, "Haven't seen her since this morning, boss. Sorry."

"Thanks. And, uh... Keep up the good work." The man grinned hugely and saluted while Gippal struggled to remember if he'd ever seen him before. Never hurt to be nice to apparent employees, though, right?

He glanced toward the tent Rikku had vanished into and briefly considered asking for her help to find Paine, but then decided that, no, he had royally screwed that one up and there really wasn't any way she would help him. Of course, she may have agreed to help look for Paine, but her help would have been of the "you go off that way into the vast unknown while I look over this way, as far from you as I can physically get myself without swimming across an ocean, and don't even think about talking to me unless you've got her with you" persuasion.

So he stood at the gate and looked around aimlessly. Paine had headed in a direction vaguely east (though, honestly, his directional skills were somewhat lacking. Another reason why swallowing his pride and apologizing to Rikku and her vastly superior finding-people skills was the right thing to do.)

(Not that he intended to do that.)

* * *

"Paine! Hey, Paine!"

He chased after her, desperately hoping that he could still find his way back to New Home when he'd caught up with her (doubtful) and that she wouldn't turn around and impale him with her sword (even less likely). She turned when he was in hearing range, still shouting at her foolishly, and actually waited for him.

"What is it?" She sounded more tired than anything, and like she'd calmed down a lot, "Where's Rikku?"

"Back at New Home. I came back out to find you."

"Alone?"

He scratched the back of his head a little nervously. "Well, I would have gotten help, but, you see..."

"You didn't think about it and you've pissed off Rikku to the point that she refused to help you. Or, more likely, you didn't even ask her for help because of your pride."

"She was really tired." Blatant lies. Heinous, blatant lies. But they were better than admitting to Paine why he really didn't get Rikku's help. "Besides, I know the way."

"You do?"

He looked around in the way he'd come and in each direction. Sand. Left, right, up, down. A little bit of a shimmer off to the right. A sort-of-maybe-could-be-looks-somewhat-like-an Oasis far out on the left. "_Shit_."

"I hate you."

* * *

"Hey, Rikku?"

"Hmm?"

"Where's Paine?" Yuna looked around curiously. "Wasn't she with you and Gippal? Speaking of, where is Gippal?"

"Oh, no, Paine! I forgot all about her!" Rikku leapt up suddenly and grabbed Yuna's hand. "Hurry! She's out there all alone, we have to go find her!"

"What about Gippal?" Yuna asked, following.

"He can find his own way," she replied in a completely different tone. "He grew up here. You'd think he'd know how to get back. I'm not worried about him."

"Rikku, what's going on? Why did you even separate?"

"The hover broke down and Paine ended up getting mad at us so she went off on her own and then - oh, this is all such a mess! She's out there in the desert without any water! She could be _dead_ and getting picked apart by angry buzzards and it's all my fault because I made her mad!"

"Calm down," Yuna said, steering Rikku toward a hover, "Paine's smart. I'm sure she can take care of herself. We just have to find her and bring her back. Are you sure you can get to New Home when you find her?"

Rikku nodded, "Yeah, I know the way."

"Are you sure?"

"...Maybe I should take a compass."

"That would be a good idea. I'll get plenty of water so we can give it to her when we find her. I'm sure she's getting dehydrated by now."

"Okay."

* * *

.x.x.x.

* * *

A/N: I looked back and realized that I have 7500 words across only two chapters. Nothing's different, just re-distributed. I apologize to those who are now receiving sudden and multiple alerts; I added a small bit to the end because after fixing everything, I had about 800 extra words. So **there is something new**, watch for it.. For those just now jumping in because this fic suddenly jumped to the top of the list, hello! It takes a vicious turn for the dramatic in later chapters, so if you're in this for a quick humor fix, I'm afraid this isn't exactly where you want to be.

This fic started as a challenge on the quitethecouple community over at livejournal (check it out if you're an R/G shipper!) in which we had to use a line given by another user for the first line of a fic. The first line of this one was given to me by iceprincessd (can be found here as iceprincessdeluxe, and you should definitely check her out). The song which lends itself to the title and chapter titles is "Call Me, Call Me" by Yoko Kanno and was featured in quite possibly the most heart-wrenching episode of Cowboy Bebop (Hard Luck Women, for those in the know). The chapter titles have also been shuffled because the first line of the song somehow found itself being the title of the second chapter, which throws me off.

If you like what you see, review! I'm always open to response, so don't be afraid to give concrit. If you see a problem or feel like a character is OOC, then _please_ tell me!

* * *

.x.x.x.

* * *


	2. rainbow waterfalls, sunny liquid dreams

* * *

**call me, call me**  
(rainbow waterfalls, sunny liquid dreams)

* * *

The Oasis turned out to be little more than a mirage. As it was, there was a rocky sort of outcropping and a horribly depressing, dusty bowl of what used to be a small lake or pond once upon a time. Paine stood very still on the edge of the bowl, ignoring Gippal's extremely overdramatic, agonized cries of "why me?" and praying to all the gods that may or may not have ever existed for the patience to put up with him.

In a bad mood, Gippal gave Rikku a run for her money in headache-inducing. In fact, she really thought he was worse.

"We stay here. It may not be worth anything, but it's a landmark. Someone is bound to find us if we just wait."

"Paine, don't you get it? There's no water here! This is a dead Oasis. No one is going to come here!"

She closed her eyes, _willing _his voice box to commit mutiny.

"We may as well light a beacon for all the fiends to come eat us already. We are _doomed_."

"Someone," she hissed, "_will _find us."

Gippal _hmmphed_ in a way that reminded her forcibly and painfully of Rikku. She had forgotten how annoying Gippal could really be when he wanted to be obnoxious. Something about having only seen him on rare occasions over the past six months since the Vegnagun incident had made her forget that fact.

"When? When we've all dried out?"

"You're the one who came out into the desert like a fool to play knight in shining armor."

"Yeah, because I fully intend to ride off into the sunset with you."

Paine took a deep breath. Yuna kept insisting that she stressed herself out too much and needed to work on controlling her temper. Tidus agreed with Yuna and had this horrible tendency to bring up all of these de-stressing tactics he learned from someone at some point (Rikku mentioned Auron, but Paine didn't really understand the reference) and kept telling her to "zen" herself. Things like, "count to ten before responding" or "imagine something happy happening when you get mad."

Right now, all she could think about was tearing Gippal's stupid lungs out with her sword. It was a happy place. She took another deep breath and tried counting to ten.

"You know, Paine, I never knew you wanted me to be your knight in shining armor. You should have said something."

She made it to three.

"Gippal. I am going to give you exactly five seconds to get out of my immediate vicinity before I rip you to shreds in the most agonizing, horrifiying, disgusting ways imaginable and several unimaginable. You will be so unrecognizable that even your own mother wouldn't be able to identify you. Do I make myself clear?"

"What crawled up your ass and died?" He said suddenly, sounding almost angry, "I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation."

Zen. Remember all of Tidus's suggestions. They were meant in good faith.

Of course, thinking of Tidus only made everything worse because Tidus was frighteningly similar to Gippal. And anything that reminded her of Gippal was intrinsically bad.

"I have been stranded in the desert for the past three hours without water. I spent an ungodly amount of time trapped between you and Rikku, suffocating on the sexual tension and trying not to kill you both. I wandered around, happily alone, killing fiends and generally being completely comfortable for a blissful forty-five minutes before you turned up and continued your habit of being infuriating. I thought I had found an oasis only to discover a dry bowl. You haven't shut up since you happened upon me, and you are proving to be completely useless. I am about five minutes from committing suicide and I am sunburnt more than I ever thought was possible."

There was a momentary pause.

"Sexual tension? What sexual tension?"

Paine hit him. Hard.

She would be lying if she said that it wasn't the most satisfying moment of her entire life.

* * *

"Where could she be?" Yuna was leaning out, looking worried. "It's the hottest part of the day. It's dangerous for her to be out here alone."

"I know." Rikku glanced around nervously. "I can't believe I forgot about her. I feel horrible."

"What's wrong?" Yuna asked abruptly, turning to Rikku. "It's not like you to forget something like this. Is everything okay?"

She opened her mouth and closed it again without responding, and took a deep breath. "It's... stupid, really. I just... I don't know. Don't worry about it, okay? It was just a, you know, a stupid moment, yeah? I'm fine."

Yuna watched her warily. "Rikku..."

"I think I see Paine!"

* * *

Paine was staring idly into the dusty once-oasis, wishing water would spring up out of it. Gippal was nursing a wounded pride (and ribcage) on the other side of the bowl, blessedly leaving her alone. All of a sudden, he perked up. Paine turned to see what had gotten him so excited.

Dust. Glinting shine. Coming toward them.

Could it be...

Did she dare believe it...

For the first time in a very long time, Paine felt like dancing a jig. Someone was coming on a hover to save them. She would finally get water. She would finally escape Gippal.

The hover pulled up to her and Yuna jumped out, running.

"Are you okay? Everyone thought you'd gotten back but then no one knew where you were. I asked Rikku and she said you hadn't come in with her, so we got a hover to come and find you. We have water, here."

Rikku followed closely and grabbed Paine's arm. "I am _so sorry _I didn't come sooner! I completely forgot and - " There were tears in her eyes, like she'd been seriously horrified about everything.

"I'm okay. Really. And I'm not mad at you, Rikku. You said you have water?" Paine glanced back at Gippal, wondering why he hadn't leapt on the hover the instant it had showed up, but he had his back turned. There was something completely _off _about his whole demeanor. It was slightly worrisome. Rikku and Yuna hadn't seemed to notice him.

"Yes!" Yuna shot a furtive glance toward Gippal herself, and then to Rikku, who still didn't seem to notice. So Yuna had spotted it too. Paine raised an eyebrow. "Come on, I'll get it for you."

"Yeah, and we can be back in time for a late lunch. Let's go." Rikku said quickly, heading for the hover. Yuna and Paine glanced at each other. "What?" She turned around and spotted Gippal. "Oh." She hesitated for a moment and then shouted, "Hey, Cyclops! If you don't wanna spend the rest of your life trying to drink sand, you might wanna hurry up and get on the hover. We might leave you! Yuna's mean like that, you know?" He turned back as if he'd just noticed them and started over, going a little too slow.

"Rikku? What's going on?" Paine asked suddenly.

"We're rescuing you from a dusty end. What does it look like?"

"That isn't what I meant."

"I know," she replied. "Can't you just play along for once?"

* * *

In all of her years, Yuna couldn't remember a more awkward hover ride.

Rikku kept trying to break the silence by babbling to her about whatever popped into her mind first, a sure sign of discomfort. Gippal, usually talkative and friendly, didn't speak at all the entire way back to New Home. Even Paine started conversing, anything to break the horribly awkward atmosphere.

They split up when they got back to the city, Rikku swearing that she had work to do, Gippal just kind of disappearing, and Paine insisting that she needed a nap and strong alcohol before she could bear the sight of any more sand.

* * *

Gippal was considering the merits of drowning his sorrows in whiskey. They were many.

It would have been easy if she'd yelled and screamed at him. But the way she just kind of walked away and pretended he wasn't even there - or worse, he was just some acquaintance from somewhere - was so much worse. Like she believed him. If she'd yelled and gotten mad, that would have been just another Gippal-pissed-Rikku-off-again. They'd fought a million times, but it was never serious.

But now she was acting like he'd really screwed up this time. All he had said that he didn't like her. And he didn't really mean it, but apparently, he'd managed to hit a nerve he didn't even know existed.

This was stupid. It was just a throwaway comment.

Then again, he had been pretty vicious to her earlier. Maybe that was just all she could take.

"Dammit," he murmured, and rummaged around for his hidden stash. "What the hell is her problem, anyway?"

"Is that alcoholic?"

Gippal jumped almost six inches out of his skin and turned to see his intruder, Tidus. "Why? Don't tell me you're going to head off and report me to Cid for having whiskey."

"I was actually wondering if you had another glass and were willing to share."

"What did you do?"

Tidus hesitated. "I... might have... You know, it's stupid. How's this sound?" He took the glass Gippal handed him and held it up to be filled. "I don't ask you why you're getting hopelessly drunk, and you don't ask me why I am."

Gippal filled his glass. "That would be great."

* * *

.x.x.x.

* * *


	3. confusion creeps inside me, raining down

* * *

**call me, call me**  
(confusion creeps inside me, raining down)

* * *

"You know something, my friend?" Tidus said, filling his glass for the fourth time, "Girls are complicated and difficult and if they weren't amazingly beautiful, I don't think I'd bother."

"You sound like a man in love." Gippal's mood was only getting worse. Tidus had been monopolizing the alcohol, and Gippal was okay with that, because he really thought that Tidus needed it more than he did right now. What he wasn't okay with was Tidus's sudden conversion to Master Philosopher, a transformation that was only becoming more pronounced the more he drank. He'd already listened to Tidus's thoughts on the meaning of life and his theory that fiends actually had it better than most people.

(And his story about his childhood home being haunted by a Blitzball player from ancient times.)

(And his theory about being the reincarnated spirit of said Blitzball player.)

(And he'd already spent fifteen minutes trying to explain to Gippal that he wasn't talking about Shuyin.)

("No, no, this guy was a legend, you know? He once scored fifty points for his team, I swear. Amazing, just amazing.")

"Ah, I don't know," Tidus took a huge drink, the sort that would have surprised Gippal if he hadn't been watching him take back his drinks at this pace all night. He really wondered what sort of alcohol tolerance Tidus actually had. Judging by his total lack of focus, Gippal was guessing it fell somewhere between featherweight and pathetic. "I mean, I loved Yuna before I left, but it's like she's a totally different person now, you know? I hardly recognize her anymore. Don't get me wrong - " He said, almost knocking the bottle over, "I'm happy with the changes and all, it's just..."

"She's different."

"Yeah. She's not the Yuna I fell in love with."

"Crazy as it sounds," Gippal replied, pouring himself a second, "I know how that feels."

"You do? How? Who've you been madly in love with?"

"I remember agreeing that this was a no-questions-asked drinking binge."

"Oh, come on. I told you my whole story."

"I didn't ask you to."

"Come on, who?"

"And anyway, I never said anything about madly in love with anyone. I just said I know how it feels to come back and find out that the people you thought you knew..." He paused, partially for effect, partially because he was starting to think that he really wasn't in the mood for whiskey after all, "you didn't."

"Oh. Well, that's disappointing. I was waiting for you to confess your undying love for Rikku. It was going to be really amazing. I'd have blackmail on you for years."

"Mmm-hmm." No, he was most definitely not in the mood for whiskey.

"You see, that would be kind of perfect, you know?"

Gippal started wondering how long it would take for Tidus to pass out.

* * *

Tidus was beginning to wonder if drinking with Gippal was such a good idea. He was starting to feel really sick.

"I just... I'm such an idiot. Yuna's a great girl, she really is. I shouldn't have - "

"For the love of Yevon's dead left ball, if it's bothering you that much, why don't you just go and apologize to her?" Gippal said, leaning back in his seat.

"Yevon's dead left...?"

"Actually," Gippal clarified, slower, "You know, I would wait until you sober up. Throwing up on your recently ex-girlfriend won't convince her to take you back."

"Oh, man. Recently ex-girlfriend. She is, isn't she? Yuna's my ex!"

Gippal muttered something that sounded like a very bad word. Tidus was halfway through berating him when the urge to vomit took over.

* * *

Gippal currently hated Tidus with every tiny little fiber of his being.

* * *

The nights in Bikanel were oddly cold, but that was half of why Rikku liked them. She was sitting on one of the newly-rebuilt walls, legs dangling over the edge, wrapped up in a blanket, thinking too much.

In her mind, Tidus and Yuna were _the _couple, the ones who ended up married at twenty and had seventeen thousand adorable babies and lived happily ever after. They weren't supposed to fight or disagree or decide that they didn't really love each other after all. They were supposed to be all right, the couple that everyone took notes from.

But now this, coming back to challenge everything she thought she knew about relationships, confusing her all over again, because if Tidus and Yuna couldn't make it, then who could? Certainly not any relationship she'd ever be in.

Well, that was horribly depressing.

Someone joined her at the wall, and she was hit at once with the combined smell of alcohol and vomit. Half-expecting to see Gippal, she turned and look straight at Tidus, looking worse than she ever could have imagined him looking. He was clearly drunk out of his skull.

"Tidus?"

"Don't. Just... Leave me alone, okay?"

She turned back to the desert without saying anything.

"I am an idiot," Tidus muttered next to her.

"Yes, you are."

With that, she hopped down from the wall and shuffled back toward the city. He didn't follow her or reply. Gippal's tent, when she came to it, had the flaps tacked open and a bucket of water sitting directly outside of it. It didn't take a huge leap of comprehension to figure out where Tidus had gotten the alcohol, nor where he had thrown up. She glanced in. It was empty.

Rikku headed for the south wall. It was a better place to sit and think anyway, and it lacked drunken Tiduses.

* * *

He spotted her at the south wall and almost went back to his tent. But then, he'd been drinking and alcohol had a nasty tendency to make him do stupid things, like hunt down girls who were mad at him and figure out why they were mad at him.

"So, tell me," he began unceremoniously, walking up behind her.

"You reek," she cut in bluntly.

"Thank you for the boost to my ego. Interestingly enough, I know this. Your blitzball-obsessed friend threw up all over my table." Gippal took a seat on the wall, close enough that he knew he was making her uncomfortable, and leaned in, looking right at her. She glanced at the narrow distance between his hand and her thigh and shifted away from him a bit. "But that's not what I came here for."

"Oh?"

"No."

There was a long pause.

"Well?" Rikku asked, "Why did you come here?"

"Why the hell are you so pissed off at me?"

"I'm not."

Gippal blinked once, then a second time. "Really. That's funny. You've been acting like it."

"I'm not mad at you at all."

The atmosphere was suddenly horribly awkward and strained. He hated this. When had they gone from being friends who could joke and laugh and tease each other to this weird, forced relationship? What had changed so much in just two years they'd been apart?

It had been like this since Vegnagun. He'd gotten back to D'jose and offered Rikku a job over the CommSphere because he really did need her help and when she had come, nothing had been the same. He couldn't talk to her anymore and he couldn't figure her out. Before he'd left, he'd been able to read her like a picture-book. He knew exactly what she was thinking and exactly how to fix whatever was going on in her world. Now, there was none of that ease or understanding. They spent more time fighting - and not the fun sort of bickering he was used to, but really fighting, trying to hurt each other - than they did anything else. It bothered him a lot more than he wanted it to.

She wasn't the same Rikku he used to know so well. She was some newer, older, completely alien Rikku that he didn't know and couldn't fathom.

He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all. Annoyed, frustrated, and slightly tipsy, he did something both extremely stupid and entirely necessary: He reached over, grabbed Rikku by the shoulders and shook her.

"Then what's wrong? What's going on up there?" He tapped her head for extra effect. She looked completely taken off-guard. He was starting to realize that this was a really bad idea, but had no restraint left whatsoever. "It's like you came back from being a guardian and I don't know you anymore. You barely tolerate my presence, you attack me when I do anything, and when you're not jumping down my throat, you're ignoring me completely. What happened? We used to be such good friends and now..."

She roughly pulled out of his grasp and turned away. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just... Things have changed. Everything's changed."

"_Obviously_. But that's no excuse to turn into Bitchy Rikku and snap my head off."

"Why not? You hate me, remember?"

"Huh?" He stared blankly at her back for a long moment before everything clicked back into place. Yeah, he had been moping about that one, hadn't he? That was why he'd started drinking, because he'd been stupid and told her that he really didn't like her at all. He'd been so distracted with Tidus and his stories and his vomiting that he'd forgotten about it. "I didn't mean that."

"No, you didn't," she said suddenly, jumping off the wall, "You never mean anything. I'm going back to Yuna. She's having a hard time with all of this."

He let her get ten steps away before the words jumped out. "What about Tidus? Wasn't he your friend? Or have you gotten too good for him, too?"

She paused for one instant, took a breath as if she was about to reply, and then kept walking like she hadn't heard him.

* * *

.x.x.x.

* * *


	4. got to get to you, but i don't know how

* * *

**call me, call me**  
(got to get to you, but i don't know how)

* * *

Rikku went back to Tidus and slapped him across the face.

"That's for breaking my cousin's heart, you selfish jerk! Do you have any idea what she went through to get you back?" She was breathing hard and tears were blurring her vision terribly. Tidus tried to respond but she stamped her foot suddenly. "She loves you, you idiot! And if you cared at all, you'd at least _try _to work everything out!"

She didn't know why she was getting so emotional about all of this, but all she could hear was Gippal, asking if she'd gotten too good for everyone she knew, acting like she'd grown into some horrible monster because she couldn't stand to be around him anymore, because he didn't get it and he'd never gotten it. She couldn't just sit there and wait on him forever, and he didn't have any right to get mad at her when she'd finally had enough of breaking her heart over him and had just given up. And he certainly didn't have any right to look at her that way or sit that close to her when she'd already _given up on him_.

It wasn't_ fair._

And besides, he'd been drinking. Who knew what he meant and what he didn't?

"Rikku - " Tidus began, but she kept hitting him.

"Don't you get it? You had it all and you just threw it away because you didn't think it was worth fighting for anymore. She thought it was worth it! She did everything she could to bring you back! She cried for _months!_ Do you have any idea how hard I worked to pull her out of it? I did everything I could think of and even had to take some of _Brother's_ suggestions! And, you know, it finally worked. I finally managed to get her to laugh again and smile again and then she was so happy because you were back and everything was right and now you have to go and screw it all up again! Oh, I hate you!"

Drained, she fell against the wall, shaking and crying.

"Rikku, I..." Tidus slumped down next to her. "You're right, you're absolutely right. I am an idiot and I've messed everything up." He was slurring his words and wavering like he wasn't very far from passing out. She vaguely wondered if he'd gotten a hold of more alcohol since she'd been gone. He certainly smelled like it. "I just... I dunno. What was I thinking?"

She didn't answer, just buried her head in her hands. "We're a pair, aren't we?"

He grinned, an odd, lopsided, horribly depressed sort of grin, and said, "I always liked you best of all those guardians, you know. Well, 'cept for Yuna."

"Tidus?"

"Huh?"

"Please don't talk anymore. You're making me seasick."

* * *

Tidus woke up sometime vaguely resembling morning to a bucket of icy water and Gippal, looking way too cheery. He rolled over and fell out of a cot he hadn't actually realized he'd been sleeping in, landing face-first in desert sand. "Where am I?"

"My tent. You dragged yourself back in here looking like you'd been through hell, threw up again all over my bed - thanks, by the way - and passed out on the cot. You're never drinking with me again."

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking around, "what time is it?"

"Almost 7. I'm kicking you off my cot."

"Why?"

"Because I have to be awake again in four hours and I've been up all night trying to clean out my tent before Cid comes barreling in to kick me off the island for getting you plastered. You can sleep on the bed. Up."

"Why can't you sleep on the bed?"

"Because you threw up all over it."

Tidus dragged himself off the sand sluggishly, smacking his face to try and get some of the sand out of his eyes and mouth, and slumping over the cot. It suddenly occurred to him that he was wearing only a pair of painfully tight boxers and he had no idea why.

"How long have I been dressed like this?"

Gippal glanced at him. "Where did you even get those? Is that... Are those Charlie Chocobo boxers?"

Tidus looked down. Sure enough, there were cute little cartoon chocobos dancing around his privates. There was something horribly disturbing about this, but he couldn't quite process what. He looked back at Gippal and then to his boxers again. "I don't know where these came from."

(They were a gag gift from Rikku, actually. His birthday had been only a few months before, and Rikku, being Rikku, went out and found the most embarrassing gift she could possibly get her hands on and then presented it to him in front of the entirety of Besaid. He would have been annoyed, except that he had an extremely similar gift planned for her upcoming birthday.)

(She hadn't bothered to find the right size, of course, so they were apparently made for child-eunuchs - that, or she'd found that fact particularly funny. And he hadn't really paid attention to what he was packing for this trip. He had the strange feeling that Gippal wasn't planning to let him live this down.)

"And anyway," Tidus continued, trying to get rid of the disbelieving look on Gippal's face, "how come you aren't hung over? I feel like I got trampled by shoopufs."

"I'm surprised you aren't still drunk. And I'm not hung over because I didn't drink that much. And because I've been cleaning my tent for the past three hours."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Now get off my cot."

"Right. Yeah, bed." Feeling - and looking - like a drugged zombie, Tidus lumbered over to Gippal's bed and collapsed face-first into the pillow. He was quiet for almost a full five minutes before whining, "It reeeeeeeks of throw-uuuuup."

Gippal pulled his pillow over his head.

* * *

"Heard you and Tidus bonded last night."

Gippal glanced at Paine and took a deep swig of his (scalding hot) coffee, making a face. "You could say that."

"Did he explain to you why he broke up with Yuna so suddenly? Because everyone seems to be under the impression that nothing was wrong with their relationship."

"Now, Paine, what kind of friend would I be if I blabbed his secrets to the first person who asked?" Gippal stared into the murky cup, wondering who made this disgusting coffee in the first place. He had a vague feeling that it may have been Rikku, although he'd heard someone mention that Brother had been hanging around the kitchen.

"You'd be Gippal," Paine replied, giving him an odd look. "Something wrong?"

"This coffee tastes like dirt. Who made it?"

"I don't know. Answer the question."

He sighed, "She's changed a lot since the last time he saw her. It just freaked him out. Did you happen to see Brother near a coffee pot? Because this is really awful."

"So he broke up with her because she changed? That doesn't really sound like Tidus. And I haven't seen Brother since I got here, though I'd like to because he could take me back home. Is that everything he said?"

"I dunno, we didn't talk much about Yuna. Ask me about dead Blitzball players; he told me all about _them_. You're positive Brother didn't make this?"

"Will you shut up with the coffee already? Who might he have talked to about it?"

"If it's bothering you so much, ask him yourself. He's passed out in my tent. I've gotta talk to some digging coordinator guy about... " He hesitated, thinking, "Shit, I was supposed to meet him a half an hour ago. _Fuck_."

Paine sighed heavily and walked off, shaking her head.

* * *

Tidus was startled awake by a loud crash. He sat up, weirdly disoriented, vaguely aware that something smelled bad and that he had a headache. He dragged himself out of the bed and pulled on a pair of pants that may or may not have belonged to him and shuffled outside to find a rather large... _thing_ laying in the sand. It looked something like an animal, except that he didn't think he'd ever seen an animal look so sad in his entire life.

He tilted his head and stared at it, blankly. Was it dead?

"Hey!" A man came running up suddenly, pulling goggles off and wiping sweat from his face and began speaking in rapid Al-Bhed. Ordinarily, Tidus prided himself on knowing the language. He liked surprising people with the fact that he spoke it (well... attempted to, anyway) and could read anything they put in front of him.

The man was speaking gibberish. Tidus blinked several times before putting both hands on the man's shoulders, looking straight into his eyes and saying, "I am hung over. I don't know where I am and I don't know who you are. You aren't making any sense. And what is this thing in front of me?"

Al-Bhed Guy was surprised and looked slightly worried, but he quickly got over it. "This is a new robot," Oh. Robot. That explained a few things. "to help with digging. I was looking for Gippal. Are you Gippal?"

"No. I don't know where Gippal is..." He paused, trying to form words. Al-Bhed Guy leaned forward, that worried look back on his face. Tidus finally landed on a word. "Coffee. Do you have coffee?"

Al-Bhed Guy now looked at him as if he was crazy. "Yes. The Lady Yuna made some just a short while ago back at the cafeteria."

"Thank you."

Somewhere deep in the back of his mind, he was dimly aware that running into Yuna wasn't a good thing. At the moment, however, all he cared about was getting caffeine into his system.

* * *

.x.x.x.

* * *


	5. let me know it's all right

* * *

**call me, call me**  
(let me know it's all right)

* * *

Rikku was standing by the coffee pot, staring at it as though it had horns and breathed fire, when Paine arrived.

"Do you know who made this coffee? Because it's terrible," she said, pouring out the entire pot and starting a new one. Paine took a huge, apparently calming breath.

"No. I don't know who made the coffee. Gippal was absolutely useless on the Tidus front."

"Um, yeah," Rikku replied, as if Paine should have expected that (which, in truth, she probably should have), "All I know is, Tidus was really drunk last night when I talked to him. Have you seen Yuna?"

"She's... Oh, great."

Rikku turned to see what Paine was looking at and spotted Tidus, shirtless, wearing a pair of pants that she was pretty sure had been on Gippal yesterday, shuffling in through the door. She glanced around surreptitiously, hoping against hope that Yuna wasn't in the cafeteria, but there she was - far corner, talking with Buddy, thankfully facing away from the door.

"Okay," she whispered, in full disaster-control mode, which was always a bad sign, "I'll take care of Tidus. You get Yuna out of here before she has a chance to see him. Sound good?"

"Fine." Paine vanished into the seating area and Rikku turned around right as Tidus arrived. He stood stock still and stared at the coffee brewing in front of him.

"There's supposed to be coffee here."

Rikku opened her mouth to reply but was completely taken off-guard by Tidus's actions. He looked completely heart-broken over the lack of coffee. In a moment of what might have been pity under different circumstances, she handed her mug over to him. "There was. I'm brewing a new pot. You can have mine." He didn't even respond, just took the mug and downed the entire thing in one gulp.

The entire mug. Full of agonizingly hot, disgusting liquid masquerading as coffee. She had no words.

It only took him five seconds to react. He set the mug down and his face went through several emotions at once, including (but not limited to) disgust, pain, horror, illness, and awe.

"...That was coffee?" he gasped, shuddering.

"Supposedly. See why I'm making a new pot?" She gave him a critical look. "How do you feel?"

"Like a zombie. What time is it?"

"Almost noon."

He didn't respond at all. Rikku glanced toward the table Yuna had been at. It was empty, so apparently Paine had succeeded in getting her out of the area. Time to do some detective work. She poured a new mug of fresh coffee and handed it to Tidus. "So, why did you break up with Yunie? 'Cause we don't really believe you about 'not knowing what you want' and all that."

Tidus rubbed his face and then took his time sweetening his coffee (he used about a thousand sugars and then doused the stuff with cream, which made her wonder why he liked coffee anyway, seeing as how it probably tasted something like pure sugar by the time he was through with it). He took a deep swig, wincing slightly at the burn, and then sat down at the nearest table, finally beginning to look more like himself.

"I... It's just." He took a deep breath. "She's so... _different_." When Rikku didn't respond, he continued. "I mean, it's just... It's like you wake up one day and all of a sudden, the whole world is upside down, you know? You look around and you're thinking, 'I could have sworn this was the ceiling yesterday' and you don't know what happened in the middle of the night to change everything but everyone's acting like this is _normal_ and you can't figure anything out. Does that make sense?"

Rikku blinked. "...Kind of?"

He sighed. "I don't know how to deal with her anymore. She's not Yuna. At least, she's not _my _Yuna."

A part of Rikku wanted to scream at him, except that he was right. Yuna... didn't really need Tidus anymore, did she? She'd spent so long trying to find him that she'd managed to get over him. And then he'd appeared again, all of a sudden. Kind of like Gippal had, vanished into thin air and then all of a sudden, everyone's talking about him and he's standing there, acting like nothing's different when it so obviously _is_.

She sat down next to him, feeling like she was melting into the chair and wondering why she was drinking such hot coffee, here in the desert, when it was only serving to make her feel worse.

"I didn't mean to break her heart," Tidus whispered, leaning into the table and staring at his mug. "But I thought it would be worse if I didn't do anything about it."

Rikku crossed her arms on the table and laid her head on them. "Couldn't you have at least _tried_?"

"I did, Rikku. I really, really did. I love her, but..." He slumped over in his seat and continued, softly, "I guess it just wasn't enough."

* * *

Gippal couldn't remember hiring this digging coordinator man, and made a mental note to smack whoever had. Judging from his hair and clothing he was well-paid, too, and had most certainly never actually been out in the desert. He was sweating profusely, and wearing an old Al-Bhed jumpsuit that looked like it had been salvaged from Rikku's trash - Gippal winced - and kept shaking his leg to get sand out of his boots.

The man - Gippal had probably been given his name but hadn't bothered to commit it to memory - was trying to convince him that this new robot he had constructed from spare parts would be extremely useful in the desert. Gippal gave him points for ingenuity - crafting and programming a robot from junk could _not_ have been easy - but docked him points for not actually knowing anything about unearthing and salvaging ancient machina.

He felt kind of bad about this. He had no choice but to cut the guy down, and there weren't many ways to do it gently. On the other hand, this man's enthusiasm was enough to make him sick, so he didn't feel too bad about it.

"Listen," he said suddenly, cutting off Robot Builder's spiel in clipped Al-Bhed, "I can't use this. However," Gippal continued, seeing the horror and sorrow in his face, "I can use your expertise elsewhere. You built this yourself?" Robot Builder nodded. "What are you doing out here? I need people like you in D'jose. Talk to Nhadala and tell her I said to transfer you to the temple, okay?"

Robot Builder looked like he'd just been handed the key to the universe and hugged him, proclaiming that he was the best person in the entirety of Spira, before bounding off to find Nhadala.

"Odd man," he muttered, before looking bad at the little robot in front of him. It looked like a particularly sad animal. He kicked it lightly with his boot, and it perked up and began rapidly spraying sand everywhere, burrowing underground. When it stopped, only a tiny part of it was showing, the little glowing blue spheres Robot Builder had stuck in it for playback to some receiver.

It was either the cutest or creepiest thing he'd ever seen.

"Gippal?"

He looked up to see Yuna, strangely small-looking and tired, coming toward him. "Watch out for the -" he began, but Yuna stepped lightly on the spheres and jumped back with a yelp when the robot shook her off and continued to stare.

"What is that?"

"It's a, ah, a robot. For digging."

She looked up at him, horrified. "It's staring at me."

"Yeah, those spheres are gonna have to go. What'd you want?"

"Um, did you talk to Tidus last night?"

He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, before squatting down and brushing the sand off the top of the robot. "Yes, and the answer is no. We didn't talk about it." He was lying, but it seemed easier than giving her the truth.

Yuna sat down opposite the robot - steadily trying to escape him - and seemed to deflate. "Not even a little bit?"

"Look," he said, giving up temporarily and ignoring the creepy blue spheres gazing up at him, "you want to know what I think? He showed up here, what, two years ago, now?"

"Two years and five months."

He blinked. "Yeah. Think about how Spira was two years - two years and five months - ago. When he left, Sin had just gone. Now, everything about this place is different."

"But _I'm_ not different. Well, not _that _much."

Gippal raised an eyebrow and gave her outfit a once-over. "_Whatever you say_. It's just culture-shock. Give him time."

"What do you mean, whatever you say? Am I really that different?"

He turned back to the robot and snatched it out of the sand suddenly, before it had a chance to burrow any deeper. It was large-ish, shaped like a big, clunky cat of some sort with big front paws. He hunted for the off button, silently hoping that he wouldn't have to reach into some awkward place to shut this thing down.

"Gippal!" Yuna sounded desperate. He sighed. He'd been hoping she'd catch the hint.

"I wouldn't know," he answered finally, looking up. "Ask someone who knew you two years ago."

* * *

.x.x.x.

* * *

A/N: I promise, I'm not making Yuna clueless. If you've ever done a lot of growing up in a very short amount of time, you'll understand that feeling. I know I didn't realize how much I'd changed over the past two years until I looked back at old schoolwork and notes from friends. She's not dumb, she just never stopped to think, "wow, I'm really different."

This somehow turned into being more about Tidus and Yuna than Rikku and Gippal. Must remedy this in the next chapter.

As always, review! If you see a problem (it's been a long time since I've played these games, so if I've made a canon gaff, please point it out!) or a grammatical error or if you feel that a character is off, please tell me! Concrit is definitely accepted. I swear, I'm not one of those people that attacks anyone who dares speak a negative word about her writing.

* * *

.x.x.x.

* * *


	6. don't you think it's bout time?

* * *

**call me, call me**  
(don't you think it's 'bout time?)

* * *

"Everyone changes," Paine said slowly.

"I know. That's why it's so... wierd," Rikku replied, playing with her scarf, having just relayed everything she'd found out from Tidus. "It's not like him to just give up like this, you know? He never gave up on her during the Pilgrimage, so why would he suddenly drop her now?"

"Maybe he just liked having someone to save."

Rikku paused. "I didn't think he was that shallow..."

"Hmm," Paine said, sitting down. "Maybe there's something else bothering him?"

"I don't think so." Rikku sat down next to her. "He was pretty down about it. I think he told me everything."

Yuna burst in suddenly, and took a seat opposite Rikku. "Tell me," she said, "honestly, am I _really_ different?"

Both Rikku and Paine jumped, taken aback. Rikku tilted her head. "I... What?"

"Am I that different from how I was on the Pilgrimage?"

Rikku seemed at a loss for words. "Um... Maybe? You're... You're still _Yuna_, I mean. It's just, um..."

"So yes," Yuna replied, masked. "I have changed."

"Everyone changes," Paine cut in. "Tidus just hasn't gotten used to it. He'll come around."

But did he want to? Paine didn't know Tidus very well, but Rikku was right - he certainly didn't seem like the type to drop Yuna just because she was bolder than she used to be. If anything, he seemed the type to embrace the change. So either he'd somehow gotten over Yuna in two years of non-existence, or maybe he'd never loved her to begin with.

After all, he was seventeen. A lot of things look like love at seventeen.

...It just seemed so _wrong_ to say that, though. He'd practically died for her, hadn't he?

Paine watched as Rikku tried to explain to Yuna that Tidus really did love her, and how it was just a phase, and that they could all work through it together. It sounded good. It really, really did, and Paine found herself wishing she could believe what Rikku was saying.

But it just wasn't adding up right. There was something else there, and they were so busy being optimistic and encouraging that they were missing it. It was frustrating, and painful, and sad. Yuna didn't deserve this.

And then there was the fact that Tidus and Yuna weren't the only ones with problems, if Rikku's absolute and complete shunning of and by Gippal was anything to go by.

Why was everything falling apart?

She had the strange desire to go off to Besaid and babysit Wakka and Lulu's six-month-old. That seemed like it would be less stressful.

Yuna and Rikku were both looking at her, and she suddenly realized that she had no idea what was just said. "What?" she asked, a little flustered.

"I asked if you had any ideas," Rikku said, and when Paine still looked lost, she continued, "About how to deal with this mess."

"Besides hurting him?"

"Been there, done that. No luck. Any other ideas?"

Paine paused, trying to figure out how to word what she was thinking. Suggesting that he may not have loved Yuna after all was the absolute worst thing she could possibly say in front of Yuna, so that was out. Suddenly changing the subject to "So, Rikku, what's up with you and Gippal" would just piss the blonde off and wouldn't get anywhere, anyway. So that left the idle babysitting suggestion, which was looking better and better by the minute.

"Why don't we leave this behind for a while? Or at least you?" Yuna looked at her strangely, and Paine started to feel utterly useless. Matters of the heart were not her strong point. "Fighting this now isn't going to help. Tidus is stuck in a rut, and the longer we stay here, the longer we're in it, too. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? So why don't we go somewhere else?"

Yuna looked at Rikku, who glanced away.

"I can't leave," Rikku said slowly, "I have to help here with the rebuilding."

"So we kidnap you," Paine replied hastily, realizing that there was no way - no _way_ - that she could cheer Yuna up by herself. She needed Rikku to be there and help her out on this one. No ifs, ands, or buts.

The alternative was not leaving herself and letting Yuna go back to Besaid on her own, but that would be worse than Paine's attempts to cheer her up. Or leaving Yuna here and kicking Tidus out. Forcibly, and with a sword in uncomfortable areas, perhaps.

It was a happy place.

Rikku twisted her scarf between her fingers nervously, and Paine finally gave up and said what she knew would sway her. "Or you could stay here and deal with whatever is going on between you and Gippal. It's up to you."

Rikku's head snapped up, half in anger, half in embarassment. Yuna turned to her and started apologizing for... something, Paine wasn't sure. "Fine," Rikku said firmly, standing up, "I'm coming with you wherever you go, Yunie. We're a team, right?"

Paine winced. _Wherever _you_ go, Yunie. _Ouch.

"Yeah," Yuna replied, standing up like the whole world was on her shoulders. "We're a team."

* * *

Gippal did not relish what he was about to have to do. Not one bit.

Tidus was helping a few of the workers out on the Western gate (notably the farthest side from Yuna's tent - or what had been Yuna's tent), apparently perfectly fine and mercifully no longer hung over. He called out to the other guy, waving him over.

How was he supposed to explain this? Hey, guess what? Your ex-girlfriend just ran off and left you stranded here with her really pissed off uncle! Have fun!

_Shit._

At least Paine had had the decency to warn him that they were going and that he would be charged with getting Tidus to wherever he needed to go. Granted, that warning had come as she was climbing on the Celsius, so he'd had no time to protest, question, or fume about it.

And to top it all off, Rikku had left with them and hadn't told a soul.

He understood that Yuna was heartbroken and Rikku was pissed off at him and probably her dad, because she usually was, but Paine? He had thought Paine might have cared enough to explain some of this herself. Rikku and Yuna he understood, even expected. Didn't make him any happier, but at least he was used to that sort of thing.

"What's wrong?" Tidus asked the moment he reached him. Gippal scratched his head.

Nothing but the truth, right?

"Yuna's gone. She and the others left about an hour ago."

He looked thunderstruck, like this was something totally out-of-the-blue and unexpected, and Gippal was overcome with the urge to smack him.

"Where did they go?"

"No idea. I have to get back to Djose tomorrow, so you can stay here or come with me. Anywhere you want me to drop you off?"

Tidus winced, and looked around, completely lost. "Can I stay with you, actually? It's just - I don't really have anywhere to go, and..."

Gippal shrugged. "Sure, as long as you're willing to work."

"Yeah, I'll work. I'll definitely work. I... Why would she leave me here?"

"Probably wants to get away from you for a while. You _did_ break her heart."

"But she didn't tell anyone."

Gippal raised an eyebrow, "And I'm just psychic or figured it out by accident? She told me to tell you." _Technically_, he wasn't lying, because he never specified who "she" was. Either way, it was easier than messing with the truth. Tidus's shoulders slumped.

"Oh. Well, thanks. Um, for everything." He winced again. "Really. I appreciate it."

"No problem."

That was relatively painless, all things considered. Now for the _really_ agonizing one.

Explaining where Rikku and Yuna had gone to _Cid._

* * *

"I feel kinda bad for running off without telling anyone." Rikku said, twirling the paper umbrella between her fingers. Barkeep's drinks were often very pretty and not very alcoholic, which made for a bad way to get drunk and forget the world. Usually, Rikku didn't mind the lack of alcohol because she had the tolerance of a baby monkey.

Today, however...

"I told Gippal to spread the word. He didn't seem happy, but I wasn't listening." Paine never drank alcohol, for reasons Rikku had never understood, so she was staring into a cherry soda like it was made of slime.

"Really?"

She had mostly forgiven Paine for the comment about "whatever is going on between you and Gippal" because no one else on the airship really knew what was going on (she had spent several minutes convincing Brother that Tidus was on the airship, just feeling sick, so he'd gone to lay down) and Paine was the only person she could talk to.

Paine nodded, and then took a deep breath like she was going to say something, but decided not to, and instead downed the rest of her soda. "This is disgusting," she muttered, "Barkeep? Do you have anything else?"

He laid out a whole list of fruit-flavored sodas, and even a particularly nasty-sounding chocolate soda (Rikku shuddered), which Paine listened to politely, and then asked for a plain ice water.

"You were going to say something?" Rikku prompted, as Paine all-but inhaled her water (probably trying to rid her taste buds of the cherry monstrosity). The other girl stalled for time before turning to Rikku suddenly.

"I was thinking," she started, as if she wasn't sure how to say this. "Tidus was seventeen when he went on the Pilgrimage, right? Well, what if..." She swirled her ice around in the cup. "What if he wasn't really in love with Yuna in the first place?"

Rikku, strangely, wasn't surprised. If anything, she'd kind of been waiting for someone else to say it first. It seemed so wrong, but what other explanation was there?

She desperately wished this cocktail was more alcholic. She also wished she could climb into a time machine and zip off into the future, when all of this was over and done with, and see if it even could work out. If there even could be a happy ending.

"I don't know," Rikku said slowly. After all, he had said something about preferring _her_ to Yuna, hadn't he? In Guadosalam? But he'd been joking, right? He wasn't serious... "I mean, I think he was in love with her. He pretty much died for her, right? You don't do that for people you don't love."

"But it doesn't mean he was _in love_ with her, does it?"

Rikku paused, suddenly realizing that she would like to be anywhere _except_ right here. Even Bikanel. Even _Djose._ "No," she replied softly, "No, it doesn't."

* * *

**.x.x.x.**

* * *

A/N: Chapter Seven Preview: This story continues to eat my life and get nowhere. Or, Rikku lets slip to Wakka what happened on Bikanel, Tidus is extremely out of place in Djose, and Gippal tries once again to understand Rikku. This is getting more and more convoluted, and it's turning into a love square. We shall see. Also, was Tidus in love with Yuna on the Pilgrimage? Well, if you'll notice, neither Rikku nor Paine have actually asked him this question, so their deciding that he wasn't is ultimately meaningless at this point.

Translation: don't flame me about that, kay?

Review if you like, or even if you don't, but especially if you feel like something is out of character or wrong.

Also, the chocolate soda is a shout-out to Vixen2004, who you should all go check out... now. As soon as you're done reviewing. Yup.

* * *

**.x.x.x.**

* * *


	7. won't you call and ease my mind?

* * *

**call me, call me**  
(won't you call and ease my mind?)

* * *

Djose was exactly as he remembered it, except for everything. The only really, truly familiar part was the temple, which itself was all wrong because it was supposed to be a Yevonite temple, not a base for an Al-Bhed operation of somewhat suspicious means.

He was just in the middle of wondering where the hell Gippal had found the money to set up this thing, liberate the temple from clingy Yevonites, _and_ pay all of these workers, when he very nearly died a slow and agonizing death at the hands of a piece of metal less half his size.

He had a funny feeling that Gippal would use this against him at some point in the near future. He certainly seemed like the blackmailing sort.

What bothered him most, however, was that no one so much as lifted a finger to help him except a somewhat pretty girl of roughly his own age, who then spent an inordinate amount of time checking him for injuries he was quite sure he didn't have. He would have liked to claim that he was a taken man, but he wasn't, and besides, he wasn't entirely sure that would stop her.

"So this is what life is like when everything is out to get you, huh?" He said to Gippal, in a half-hearted attempt to make conversation and shut up the hysterically laughing workers (and shake the fawning girl off his arm). Gippal snickered.

"You get used to it. But come on, you've already got a new friend! How bad could things be?"

"_I hate you_. Just so we're clear." Gippal laughed outright, then headed off for the temple entrance, talking to a few other people along the way. "Hey! Where do I go?"

He didn't turn around. "You follow me."

* * *

His room was rather small and cramped, but usable. He bummed a few pairs of pants off a very nice co-worker for the near future, until he had enough money to buy his own, and he figured he could live off of two shirts, even if one of them was rather uncomfortably tight.

He was seriously regretting leaving everything he owned in Besaid, and had a bad feeling about what Rikku might do to his clothes. She was a nice girl, and she was a good friend of his, but she was also extremely loyal to Yuna, and he would not, under any circumstances, put it past Rikku to set fire to all of his boxers, leaving him with only Charlie Chocobo and a rather old pair of checkered underwear that he'd had since he'd lived in Zanarkand.

He wondered why he didn't feel worse about what he'd done to Yuna. On the one hand, he really did feel bad for her because she really did deserve better than to be dumped after all that time searching for him, but on the other hand...

Well, it was like he told Rikku, wasn't it? He'd lain all his cards out on the table and told her the honest truth. That was always better than lying to her, right?

He felt like an ass, but he'd felt worse. And he wasn't sure he was supposed to.

After all, he'd broken her heart, hadn't he? And yet he was more worried about the state of his underwear at the moment. If he was really regretting what he'd done, shouldn't he feel more like he had yesterday morning, when he was still hung over and miserable?

He tried to imagine life on Spira without Yuna, and was surprised at how easy it was.

Not a good sign.

He tried to imagine life on Spira without being able to go anywhere but Djose, and that was slightly more worrying. When word of this got around, everyone would hate him for being the asshole who broke the High Summoner's heart. Gippal was the only person he could really count on to not call him bad names or kick him out - he was currently _persona non grata_ in Bikanel, thanks to Cid's all-consuming fury and somewhat unhealthy protectiveness of his neice. Leaving the island had been more of an escape on his part, and culminated in his hiding underneath the control panel and scaring the living daylights out of the pilot once they'd taken off.

But Gippal was being nice to him, or at least, Gippal's _version_ of nice, which consisted of making fun of him and pairing him up to work with Clingy Al-Bhed Girl. But it was acceptance, and he had a feeling he'd be getting very, very little of that in the coming months.

He wondered why. Gippal knew Yuna, right? He didn't think they were really _friends_, but Tidus would have figured that he would choose the High Summoner over some nobody. He _had_ to have a good reason.

* * *

Gippal was staring at the CommSphere, wondering vaguely if contacting Rikku would piss him off worse, get something ironed out between them, or both, when Tidus burst in the door. He blinked.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah," Tidus said, and pulled up a chair, glancing oddly at the CommSphere on his desk. "Why did you offer me a job here?"

He stared blankly at Tidus. Had everyone gone insane, and he's just missed the memo? That... would make a whole lot of sense, actually. "You would rather I left you in Bikanel with Yuna's pissed-off uncle?"

"No!" It occurred to Gippal that Tidus had been spending way too much time around Rikku, because his entire body responded - he jumped up, waved his hands, and shook his head vehemently. "No, no, no. It's just, everyone else is siding with Yuna on this, so why are you helping me?"

Ah. Tidus was mistaking Gippal's indifference for a show of generosity. "You're working in my faction, selling machinery that helps to make me and a few other choice people filthy rich, and you think I'm doing this for _you?_"

Tidus blinked twice.

"Well, you're giving me a room, right? And everyone's going to attack me for what I did to Yuna, so yeah, you are helping me."

Gippal rubbed his face. "Listen, Tidus. I don't pick sides. Ever, if I can avoid it. I don't care about what you did to Yuna, I care about what you can do with machines. Yuna's a big girl, she can deal with being dumped."

"Right," Tidus said slowly, and then looked back at the CommSphere. "Who were you planning to talk to?"

"No one." He tossed the CommSphere into a drawer, wincing as he heard it crunch against something. "Why'd you change the topic so suddenly?"

Tidus ignored the jab and sat down. "No one, huh?" Gippal's patience was beginning to run thin. "You know, if you want to get Rikku to stop being mad at you, you should probably start with apologizing."

"For _what?_" He asked sharply, and then groaned when Tidus smirked and it occurred to him that he'd just given himself away. He sighed, "What am I supposed to say, 'Hey, Rikku, I'm sorry for existing, okay?' Look, I'm not the one who's being a bitch here."

"Wait. You don't know why she's mad at you?" Tidus asked in an uncomfortably incredulous tone. Gippal was torn. On the one hand, if Tidus knew why Rikku suddenly hated him, he would tell Gippal and therefore, Gippal would finally know what the hell was going on. On the other hand, that would mean admitting to _Tidus_ that he really didn't know what the hell was going on.

He settled for an angry scowl. Tidus leaned back a bit. "_Oh_. Um. I'm just gonna... What's-her-face is probably looking for me." With that, he leapt out of his seat and all but ran out of the office

..._That_ was unexpected.

* * *

"Where's Tidus?"

Paine froze. Rikku blanched. Yuna ducked back into the Celsius, muttering about having forgotten something important.

Paine glanced at Rikku, silently begging her not to speak. Wakka looked confused. "He sick or something? What's going on?"

_Please, please, please, please don't - _"He dumped Yuna," Rikku said unceremoniously, and then winced, as if she'd meant to say something entirely different.

"He _WHAT?_"

Paine cursed. Violently.

* * *

In the end, it took Lulu's shoving Vidina into Wakka's arms and literally forcing him into their tent to keep him from hijacking the Celsius to hunt Tidus down (or, failing that, swimming, which he made abundantly clear he was not above doing).

"He'll calm down," Lulu said, "when he remembers that he doesn't really want Tidus dead." She sighed, and sat down next to Rikku on the temple steps. "Do you have any idea why he did it?"

"Gippal thinks it's culture shock," Yuna said quietly. "And I think he's right. He just... Too much was different, _I _was too different, he got scared..."

Lulu nodded slowly. "That makes sense." She caught the nervous glance Rikku gave Paine, but didn't comment on it. "Though he always seemed to adapt well to change..."

"I guess it was just too much too fast, you know?" Rikku said, a little too suddenly. There was definitely something going on.

"Hmm." Everyone was quiet for a moment, and then Lulu shook her head and stood up. "Well, worrying over it won't do any good right now, will it? Let's go get you three a place to sleep, all right?" She glanced back at Rikku and Paine.

Later that night, while Yuna was playing with Vidina, Lulu cornered Rikku, guessing (correctly) that it would be easier to get information out of her than Paine. "You're hiding something. What is it?" She crossed her arms, allowing the younger girl to shift uncomfortably.

"It's... nothing, really. Just a theory. It's probably not even true, you know?"

"You think there's more to this than culture shock."

Rikku fidgeted with the end of her scarf and didn't look up. "I don't know. I mean, he landed here from a totally different world and never seemed to have a real problem with it, yeah? He didn't know anything, but he didn't completely freak out and try to kill us or anything crazy like that, and he even made friends as soon as he could and dove right in to the pilgrimage, so why would he be pushing everyone away now?"

"I wonder..." Lulu started, but apparently Rikku wasn't finished.

"And then... When we were in Guadosalam he said he'd rather have me over Yuna, and I thought he was joking, but what if? I mean, Yuna's already really hurt about this, and then if he ended it with her because of _me_, I'd never be able to look her in the face again, and -"

"_Breathe_," Lulu said, putting both hands on Rikku's shoulders. "Tidus cares about Yuna's feelings. If he didn't, he wouldn't have gone through the Pilgrimage for her. Even if he is torn between you and her, he wouldn't hurt Yuna that way." Rikku didn't look convinced, and Lulu guessed that she was worried about more than just Yuna's reaction if Tidus had some kind of crush on her.

"You know what I think?" Both Rikku and Lulu turned to see Paine, arms crossed over her chest. "I think he was in love with idea of Yuna."

"The idea of Yuna?" Lulu responded warily. Paine nodded.

"She was someone he needed to save and protect. She needed him, so he was there for her. Now, there's nothing she needs protecting from, so he feels useless."

The concept wasn't foreign to Lulu - it was why so many young boys had run off to join the Crusaders, why so many people were willing to sacrifice and become Summoners or Guardians. They had all wanted to be heroes and protect the people they loved. Chappu had done it for her, and she had done it for Yuna. It made sense that Tidus would be the same.

But that the need to protect was all that had tied him to Yuna? She wasn't sure. Lulu sighed, "You have a point."

"What if it's a mix?" Rikku said slowly. Paine and Lulu turned to her. "I mean, what if it's all of the above?"

"Then I don't think there's anything we can do," Paine replied. "He has to work it out on his own, if he even can or should."

* * *

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A/N: I do, for the record, have a plan for where this fic is going. It's just... Moving slowly. I'm calling it an exercise in longer writing. Leave a review if you like, don't like, think I'm stupid, think I'm a genius, or whatever!

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